


never thought that I could feel such a slap in the face

by addendum



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, High School, Zina is endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29261592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addendum/pseuds/addendum
Summary: Tina is falling in love. For the first time in her life, she doesn’t realize it.
Relationships: Tina Belcher/Jimmy Pesto Jr., Tina Belcher/Zeke (Bob's Burgers)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 28





	never thought that I could feel such a slap in the face

It’s not that Tina doesn’t  _ like _ high school. She just thought she would be better at it.

She’s only gotten lost a handful of times, and she thinks that’s pretty good. She tripped in the hallway on the first day, leaving her all sprawled out on the floor and earning her a few critical stares, but it’s not like that keeps her awake at night or anything. It’s totally fine.

The thing is, Tina likes herself. She thinks she’s kind, and well rounded, and smart. She thinks she’s pretty, too, but she likes that she isn’t all hung up on that. In her opinion, she has all of the tools required to be fun, savvy, super cool high school student.

She just doesn’t feel like she’s quite there yet. She definitely has a few pieces, but she isn’t sure how to make them fit together into a cohesive picture. It’s frustrating, but Tina isn’t one to give up. She perseveres, and she confides all of her disappointment and confusion in her diary. She reminds herself of the positive things.

Like Tina always pictured when she fantasized about high school, she has a boyfriend now. She and Jimmy Jr. are official, which means he kisses her hello in the morning and occasionally lets her hold his hand in the halls. 

It’s nice and all, but things aren’t exactly turning out the way Tina had assumed they would between the two of them. Everything hasn’t fallen perfectly into place since she finally got him to commit to her, and he’s yet to become the doting, loving, sensitive boy of her dreams. Just because they’re finally together, Tina has learned, doesn’t mean he’s a new person. In fact, he’s pretty much the same old Jimmy Jr. that he’s always been. She just has the label now.

Tina likes for them to walk home together every day, because she thinks it’s a gallant and romantic gesture. Today is the third day of the school year that her new boyfriend has forgotten to wait for her outside of school. In all her fantasies about high school, this part was never there. 

Tina wants to believe that these mistakes don’t mean anything. She _doesn’t_ want to to consider that Jimmy Jr.‘s constant absentmindedness indicates indifference toward her. 

_ I am powerful and in control. I am not defined by how other people feel about me. _

Tina’s new mantra plays on a loop in her head as she storms toward the school gymnasium. She’s always enjoyed some good old self affirmation, but dating Jimmy Jr. has turned it into a necessity. His apparent aversion to showing that he cares about her is draining.

She holds on to the hope that this is a misunderstanding. Jimmy Jr. could’ve gotten caught up in a conversation with a friend, or maybe a teacher asked to talk to him after class. Tina enters the gym, knowing the one person most likely to know Jimmy Jr.‘s whereabouts is inside at wrestling practice.

“Zeke!” She says forcefully, bounding across the linoleum floor.

He’s standing by the bleachers as she approaches, sipping water from a plastic bottle. There’s a glimmer of sweat on his forehead, and his hair is damp.

“Tina!” He hollers, practically cheering.

He always greets her with the same enthusiasm. Every day when Tina exits her biology class, she runs into Zeke as he’s heading to algebra. Every single day, he jubilantly shouts her name.

_ Tina-B! Looking good, girl! _

_ Damn, Tina! I heard you got an A on that English test! Guess I’ll call you Alfred Tina-son! _

_New barrette, T-Bird? Yeah, rock that new look!_

Tina found the routine annoying at first, but it’s grown on her. Being complimented by anyone, but especially by a boy, feels nice. It doesn’t hurt that Zeke grew a couple inches and got a nice tan over the summer. 

They’re friends now, kind of. At lunch, he’s the one who makes an effort to include her in conversations even when her own boyfriend doesn’t. Tina thinks that might be why she feels uncomfortable around him sometimes. He knows, better than anyone, how much she’s failing to keep her relationship together. 

“Hey.” She says, suddenly embarrassed. She doesn’t think boyfriends are supposed to put their girlfriends in positions like this, but maybe this is what dating in high school is all about. 

“Hey yourself!” Zeke says. “Can I help ya with somethin’?” 

Tina wants to stare at the ground, but she forces herself to look him in the eyes. 

_ Damn it, Tina _ . She thinks.  _ Do you want to look like a strong, self assured woman or not?  _

“I’m here about Jimmy Jr.” She reveals. “He didn’t meet me after the bell, and I was wondering if you maybe knew where he was.” 

The carefree smile on Zeke’s face vanishes, and he looks uncomfortable. Tina wants the ground to open up and swallow her whole. 

“Uh...sorry, T-bird. Can’t help ya there.” He says apologetically. “I think he went home.” 

Crestfallen, Tina sighs. Zeke appears to pity her which is nothing short of humiliating. He clasps one of her shoulders in his large hand. 

“I feel ya, girl!” He tells her. “J-ju bailed yer plans, huh?”

Tina hates that he’s pretending to relate. Jimmy Jr. loves Zeke! He practically worships the ground he walks on. He would never regard him with the same coldness that he does Tina. He doesn’t get it at _all._

“Trust me, it’s not personal!” Zeke continues. “Wrestling started two weeks ago, and he hasn’t come to a single meet. That’s just the kinda guy he is, I guess.”

He says this bluntly, but Tina knows it must be a painful thing to admit. She gapes, feeling a hot flash of anger on Zeke’s behalf. Apparently, Jimmy Jr. didn’t put much effort into  _ any _ of his relationships. 

“I’m sorry.” She says honestly, at a loss for more uplifting words. 

Zeke shrugs her off, gulping down some more water and wiping off his mouth with his hand. When he finishes, he looks at her, more serious than she’s ever seen him. 

“Listen, T-bird,” He says solemnly, almost commiserative, “you shouldn’t waste too much time wiggin’ out over J-ju, alright? You’ll make yourself crazy!”

As much as she hates to admit it, Zeke probably has a good point. Tina  knows Jimmy Jr. She’s known him for years. If she wants to be in a serious relationship with him, she needs to learn to take his flaws in stride. Trying not to let her disappointment show, she thanks Zeke for his help before leaving on her usual route.

On the walk home, Tina daydreams about getting home to find Jimmy Jr. waiting for her. She imagines that he’s holding flowers, and she puts the perfect words in his imaginary mouth. He tells her how sorry he is for letting her down again, and he kisses her softly. When she does arrive home, the sidewalk in front of her house is empty.

For the rest of the evening, Tina does something she never would have expected: she tries taking Zeke’s advice. Jimmy Jr. is still a distant blip on her radar, but she listens to her family’s conversations instead of bringing up his latest blunder.

“Is it just me, or has Mr. Frond being acting weird lately?” Louise asks Gene at the dinner table.

“Like, weirder than normal?” Tina asks, not trying to be funny.

Louise’s eyes shine, and she leans in Tina’s direction with a smirk.

“ _ Much _ weirder, Tina.” She says. “Personally, I think it has something to do with the full moon.”

Their mom puts her elbows on the table and rests her face in her hands, rapt.

“The full moon? Ooh, tell me more!”

Clearly pleased with the attention, Louise clears her throat.

“I’m glad you asked, Mom!” She says. “My theory is that our dear guidance counselor is a....werewolf!”

She says the last word loudly, with a dramatic flourish of her arms, and Tina startles.

“Louise, stop trying to scare your sister.” Their dad interjects sternly.

“Back me up here, Gene!” Louise orders. “Phillip Frond: counselor, doll maker, werewolf extraordinaire. It makes so much sense!”

“If by werewolf, you mean  _ were _ did he get that new sweater!” Gene says. “Is it just me, or is blue definitely his color?”

Their dad sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers.

“Louise, you know werewolves aren’t real,” He chides, “and Gene, you can do better than that pun.”

Gene balks.

“So now I’m expected to be the hot one, the talented one,  and  the witty one? I’m only one boy, father!”

Louise changes her tune when she sees that her theory isn’t getting the support she was looking for. She turns to Bob, giving him a once over.

“Maybe dad’s the werewolf.” She suggests. “He does have the hair for it.”

“What?” Her dad asks, looking up from his mashed potatoes. “No. No one’s a werewolf, Louise.”

“Huh.” Her mom says thoughtfully, tapping her chin. “I guess your father  does get kinda antsy when there’s a full moon...”

“Lin!” Her dad says incredulously.

“What, Bob? I’m just sayin’! Maybe Louise has got a point.”

As her family continues to bicker and theorize about Mr. Frond, Tina’s unease about Jimmy Jr. grows progressively worse. If he really cared, he would’ve called by now. She sets her face in her palm, unable to enjoy the rest of her dinner. 

By the time Tina starts getting ready for bed, Jimmy Jr. still hasn’t texted or called. She pulls her purple nightshirt over her head and tries not to cry.

_ Keep it together, Tina _ . She thinks.

It’d be one thing if she could just break up with him. More than anything, Tina wishes she could cooly cut him off. She feels weak and stupid for still being so enamored by him. 

He’s just so good at tossing little crumbs her way. As dismissive and apathetic as Jimmy Jr. normally is, he really does have his moments. He always knows just the right time to kiss her unexpectedly, or bring her a sunflower he picked out at the store. Sometimes, he passes her little notes in math class and all of Tina’s feelings for him seem to make total sense.

They’ve been dating for months, so Tina thinks he must love her in his own way. Honestly, she really doesn’t understand him. She’s good at letting people know she loves them, and she wears her heart on her sleeve. Jimmy Jr. is a closed book. Maybe that’s just who he is on the outside, and inside he’s tender-hearted and deeply in love with her? It’s a solid possibility. 

_ Or _ , her brain whispers,  _ maybe he just doesn’t love you. Maybe he doesn’t care about you at all. _

Tina doesn’t like to dwell on that. She wishes he would tell her he loves her, or make some grand gesture that proves without a doubt that he does. If she had a way to define love, or sign to look for, then maybe that would be different.

_ Well _ , she corrects herself,  _ you do have one thing. _

There’s this memory from when she was a kid. Tina’s never mentioned it to anyone else, but she keeps it on a ridiculous pedestal. She often holds her own feelings up to it to see how they compare. It’s a good memory.

When her mom was pregnant with Louise, she had terrible morning sickness. She hated it. She poured over lists of potential remedies, and none of them worked. She openly lamented her nausea, and every customer who visited the restaurant heard a spiel about how sick she felt.

One morning, she abruptly rose from the breakfast table and rushed into the bathroom. She was already gagging, and she slapped a hand over her mouth as a precaution. When Bob stood up to follow her, Tina and Gene were close behind. 

Linda was still in her maternity nightgown, and her face was a sickly shade of white as she knelt on the bathroom tile. Without her asking, Tina watched as her dad came up behind her and gently pulled her hair out of the way.

“You’re okay, Lin.” He said quietly, still groggy. “Let it out.”

Tina can still conjure up the image: her mom, hunched over and retching into the toilet as her dad held her hair back and mumbled to her. It was the sort of thing Tina never read about in any of her favorite romance books, but it became the foundation for her concept of what love looked like in the real world.

When she asks herself if Jimmy Jr. would ever take care of her in the same way, the answer is a quick and resounding no. He likes her enough as an accessory of his, but he doesn’t want her to have problems of her own. Tina isn’t sure how capable he is of considering any one else’s feelings.

He wants her to laugh when he tells stories he thinks are funny, and he wants her to compliment his dancing. When he has a fight with his dad, he expects her to listen to him vent about it. Tina, on the other hand, can’t ask for something as simple as a walk home without being stood up.

As Tina’s head hits her pillow, she remembers what Zeke said to her in the gym. Surprisingly, she feels another bolt of anger when she thinks about Jimmy Jr. skipping out on his wrestling matches. Zeke is his best friend! He’s been nothing but loyal and supportive, and Jimmy Jr. can’t even be bothered to put forth a fraction of that effort. Zeke deserves a better friend than that.  


She groans aloud. She’ll have to face her boyfriend in the morning, and she resolves to stand her ground. When she envelops herself in her pink comforter, she realizes just how tired all of her fretting has made her. She closes her eyes and soon drifts into a fitful sleep. 

In her dreams, Zeke is there. He’s smiling right at her and glistening with sweat.

••••

When Tina walks up to her locker the next morning, Jimmy Jr. is waiting for her. When she sees the remorseful look on his face, she can already feel her resolve begin to crumble.

_ Stop it, Tina. _ She reminds herself. _Even hot boys need to be held accountable for their actions._

“Hey, Tina.” Jimmy Jr. says sheepishly, not quite meeting her eye.

Tina steels her heart against his imminent apologies by forcing her face into a glare.

“ _Jimmy.” _ She says sharply, opening her locker instead of greeting him with a kiss.

“Tina, I’m really sorry about yesterday.” He says, leaning up against the locker next to hers.

Tina closes her locker door to let him see the indignation in her face. She’s glad he seems to feel bad. He  _should_ feel  bad for making her so upset.

“I looked like an idiot!” She explodes. “You’re so...ugh!”

She crosses her arms over her chest and faces away from him, but she feels his hand touch her elbow. His touch is hesitant, like she’s a skittish bird who might fly away.

“Come on, Tina.” He says. “Come over today. We can hang out alone. Like a date.”

He’s using a voice he’s developed since they started dating. It’s quiet and soft, and Tina loves it. She wants to let it work, to let herself forgive him, but she knows she needs to stand up for herself. She tears her arm from his light grip.

“Tina, don’t be like that.” He says.

Jimmy Jr. loves to say  _ don’t be like that, _as though all of her feelings are so unreasonable. She knows they aren’t.

“No.” Tina says, turning her nose up at him. “I have plans today.”

He gawks at her.

“What? Tina, come _on_. Let’s hang out tonight.” 

“Were you not listening?  _ I have plans_.”

She carries on down the hall, pretending not to hear when he calls after her.

The rest of the day is spent avoiding her boyfriend. She opts to spend her lunch period in the back of the library. They sit next to each other in math class, so she keeps her eyes glued to the front of the room at all times.

As soon as Tina gets home, she starts needling her dad to let her leave the restaurant a couple hours before it closes. When he finally relents, Gene and Louise are quick to join in the pestering.

“ _What?”_ Louise asks incredulously. “I work my  _ ass _ off for this place, and what do I get in return? Zilch!”

“Do you have any idea how hard all of this restaurant work is on my perfect little fingers?” Gene joins in.

Bob groans.

“Fine!” He surrenders to the badgering. “All of you, go. Just...be back for dinner.”

“Yay.” Tina says flatly, smiling, as her siblings rejoice.

Once they all get their jackets on, they hit the sidewalk and begin their walk.

“Where are we heading, T?” Louise wonders. “I mean, wherever it is has gotta be better than work.”

“You’ll see.” Tina replies.

They follow her lead for several blocks, until she stops in front of a familiar building. 

“Oh, sick!” Louise cries. “ _ School,  _ Tina?”

“It’s...for a project.” Tina lies, leading them into the Huxley High School gymnasium. “I have to write a report on extracurricular activities.”

Tina doesn’t know what compelled her to lie, but neither Gene nor Louise question her excuse. When they get inside, there are boys from various schools milling about. They’re all wearing very distinct uniforms, complete with helmets. 

“Wrestling.” Louise says thoughtfully, visibly surprised by her surroundings. “A sport with plenty of spit and blood. I can work with this.”

“Anything’s better than _cleaning menus._ ” Gene comments with a shudder. 

The meet begins soon after they find their seats in the bleachers, and Tina struggles to figure out what’s going on. There appears to be some kind of system for who competes, but she isn’t following. The entire sport is a little too aggressive for her tastes, if she’s being honest. Gene seems to share the same opinion. He watches most of the event through his fingers, openly whimpering when a move looks particularly painful.

On Tina’s other side, Louise alternates between cheering and booing. Her reaction seems more dependent on her own mood than it is on what the wrestlers are doing. Tina waits patiently waits through the JV matches, until the varsity team is finally up.

She looks for Zeke amongst the other wrestlers, and her eyes land on him almost immediately. When he catches her eye, his mouth falls slightly open. Tina gives him a wave, and his face breaks into a smile.

Once Zeke starts wrestling, Tina becomes more invested in what’s happening out on the floor. She still doesn’t  completely get it, but she knows that Zeke is effortlessly beating his opponents. Seeing him be so good at something is cool. He looks so confident, and athletic, and...Tina suddenly can’t remember why she’s never come to any wrestling meets before this one. Boys rolling around together in tight outfits? This might be her new favorite sport. 

Zeke looks up at her a few more times, in his spare moments, and he looks elated every time she gives him another wave. When the meet is all over, Tina and her siblings walk down to meet him.

“Zeke,” Gene says, “I saw a new side of you today. It’s really cool and not at all terrifying!”

His unconvincing tone doesn’t phase Zeke, who immediately yanks him into a headlock. Gene yelps and laughs nervously, but Tina is pretty sure this is Zeke’s way of showing affection.

“There’s my favorite pair of blue Genes! Get yer ass over here!”

Louise rolls her eyes impatiently, marching up to them and tapping at Zeke’s arm.

“Zeke, can you let go of my brother?” She asks. “The concession stand’s been calling my name all night, and I don’t think she’s gonna wait much longer.”

Zeke releases Gene with a grunt, but not before pulling him back in to grind his knuckles against his head in a fierce noogie. Gene looks dizzy when he lets go, but he beams.

“That actually felt quite nice on my handsome, little scalp!” He announces. “Like a really scary massage.”

“Terrifying.” Louise says sarcastically. “Can we go now?”

“Hey, Louise!” Zeke shouts energetically, only know noticing her. “It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever!”

He moves to give her the same treatment he gave Gene, but he stops when she holds both hands up in protest.

“Why don’t you give mine to Tina?” She suggests over her shoulder as she walks toward concessions, dragging Gene along beside her.

That leaves Tina alone with Zeke, and she’s surprised by how sheepish he becomes under her gaze. She thinks maybe he only gives noogies to his friends, and he doesn’t feel close enough to her to do the same. 

“Don’t worry, girl.” He says. “I’m not gonna noogie you.”

Then again, maybe he just thinks she’s ultra delicate. She doesn’t really like to be roughed up, but it would be nice to feel included.

“You didn’t have to come to my match, T.” Zeke continues, obviously touched.

“I know I didn’t.” Tina says with a shrug. “I came, because I wanted to.”

She doesn’t mention that she was partially motivated by pissing off Jimmy Jr., because she ended up actually enjoying the match.

“You’re a great wrestler.” She admires, gesturing in the direction of the wrestling mats. “You’re great at pinning people to the ground for two seconds at a time.”

Zeke grins at her, wiping some of the sweat dripping from his brow with the back of his hand. There’s so much unadulterated joy in his voice, that Tina can’t help but smile back at him.

“Thanks, T-bird!” He says. “Can I tell you something?”

Bewildered, Tina nods her head. She can’t imagine what he could possibly have to tell her right now.

“That last win was for you, girl.” He says with a wink.

Tina opens her mouth but turns scarlet, too taken aback to respond. The lights in the gym are far too hot, and Zeke’s smile is unnecessarily big. She swallows, too overwhelmed to think of a fitting response.

“Uh...do you want to go check out that concession stand?” She asks, flustered.

••••

By Halloween, Tina and Jimmy Jr.‘s relationship has bounced back to its usual state. He’s extra attentive for about a week after their fight, and Tina completely falls for it. When he invites her to hang out on Halloween, she’s happy to have something to do that isn’t moping around the house and missing the days when she was young enough to trick or treat.

“A haunted Halloween date!” Her mom says on the big night, tucking a a strand of hair behind Tina’s ear. “So romantic! Kinda.”

Tina frowns. Jimmy Jr. has insisted that they spend their Halloween night at Wonder Wharf’s mutilation mansion, and she isn’t completely sold on the idea. Nothing ruins the magic of a haunted house like being forced to tackle your middle-aged dentist.

“I guess.” She says unenthusiastically. “Anything is romantic if you try hard enough.”

“That’s the spirit, sweetie!” Her mom replies encouragingly. “I’m sure you’ll have just as much fun as your brother and sister.”

Tina sighs. Gene and Louise have vowed to trick or treat until the day they die, and she’s secretly a little jealous of them. They’ve surely collected an enviable amount of candy by now.

Honestly, Tina misses dressing up for Halloween. She misses choosing who she wanted to transform into for the night. She also misses the candy, and she hopes Louise will let her trade a week’s allowance for a few chocolate bars.

“Be safe, Tina!” Her dad calls as she walks downstairs, tugging on a hoodie to protect her from the October chill.

When she opens her front door, she’s immediately greeted by someone in a devil mask. He’s standing next to Jimmy Jr.

“Boo!” The devil shouts.

Tina gasps instinctively, bringing a hand up to her heart. The boy laughs, and she recognizes that it’s Zeke.

“Sup, Tina?” He asks, pulling his mask off. “I got ya pretty good!”

Tina takes a deep breath. Of  _ course _ he’s here. She should’ve known Jimmy Jr. would invite him. He’s wearing a navy blue bomber jacket, and he tucks his hands into the pockets once he’s done scaring her.

 _Wow. Zeke should wear that color more often._ She thinks.

“Zeke.” She says casually, once she’s collected herself. “You’re coming to Mutiliation Mansion with us?”

“I wouldn’t miss it, girl!” Zeke grins. “My bones could use a good rattling!”

He takes Jimmy Jr. by the shoulders and shakes him violently, apparently to emphasize his point. Jimmy Jr. squeals in protest until he stops.

“I guess we should go, then.” Tina says, not bothering to conceal the annoyance in her voice.

Even if she wasn’t ecstatic about his choice of activity, Tina had been happy that Jimmy Jr. wanted to spend the holiday alone together. Why can’t he give her one night? The three of them begin their walk along Ocean Avenue, and Tina tunes out the boys’ lively conversation to appreciate the holiday decorations lining the street.

The familiar glow of Jack o’ lanterns is strangely comforting, and she begins to feel nostalgic. She remembers being little, holding onto her mom or dad’s hand as she excitedly trick or treated. Somehow, the memory brings a hint of loneliness.

“Hey, Jimmy Jr.” She says slyly, wanting to take her mind off it. “Don’t you want to hold hands?”

Jimmy Jr. takes his attention off of Zeke for a split second.

“Oh.” He says. “Sure, Tina. That’s fine.”

He offers his hand to her unenthusiastically, and Tina takes it. His grip is limp, and it doesn’t impart the sense of warmth or safety that she’d been looking for. When they pass Reflections, there’s a puddle on the sidewalk leftover from a rainstorm earlier in the day. 

Tina doesn’t notice it, until she feels the cold splash of mud on her clothes. It splatters against her jeans, even covering the bottom half of her hoodie.

“Damn it!” She shouts. “Now I’m gonna be freezing all night.”

Her tone of voice is unambiguous, as she fixes her gaze on Jimmy Jr. She doesn’t want to come out and ask him to give her his jacket, but she thinks she’s making it obvious enough.

“That really sucks, Tina.” He says, looking her up and down. Even though they’re holding hands, his own clothing is unscathed.

She tightens her jaw, prepared to tell him off. He’s wearing a long-sleeved shirt beneath his jacket, and he can’t even pretend to care that his girlfriend is cold?

“You know, Jimmy Jr,-“ She begins stiffly.

Zeke steps slightly in front of her, cutting her off.

“Here ya go, T-bird.” He says, handing her his jacket.

Unlike Jimmy Jr., he’s wearing only black a t-shirt. Tina is taken back by his generosity, and her eyes widen. Next to her, Jimmy Jr.‘s do the same.

“But...then you’ll be cold.” She says dumbly, truly not wanting to be difficult. She expected her boyfriend’s help, but she feels insensitive taking Zeke’s jacket from him.

“It’s no big deal!” Zeke reassures her, sticking the jacket out towards Tina. “I don’t want ya freezing yer tail off!

Jimmy Jr.‘s face is scrunched up in rage, and Tina wants to roll her eyes at him. Of course he’s all worked up now that another boy is acting gentlemanly toward her. It’s so typical. Somewhat reluctantly, Tina unzips and removes her damp jacket. She starts to tie it around her waist, but Zeke stops her.

“Let me hold that for ya.” He says.

Jimmy Jr. shoots him a vicious glare, and he rips the jacket from Tina’s hands.

“I’ve got it, Zeke!” He seethes.

Tina actually does roll her eyes now. She once thought Jimmy Jr.‘s possessiveness over her was charming. Romantic, even! Now, she just thinks it annoying. It’s another reminder that he views her in the same light as one of his belongings.

Zeke brings his hands up in surrender, as Tina pulls on his jacket. It’s pretty big on her, but that only makes it feel cozier. It’s warm, even warmer than the jacket she came in, and she gives Zeke a grateful smile once she has it zipped up. Never mind the fact that Jimmy Jr. is clearly furious.

“Let’s just go.” He says, taking Tina’s hand again. 

This time, he squeezes it so tightly that it hurts. She assumes it’s a a product of his jealousy, and maybe she does get a  _ tiny  _ thrill when she realizes she’s the reason he’s so incensed. 

Though the walk to the wharf is brief, Tina feels incredibly awkward. She isn’t one hundred percent sure why the jacket fiasco seemed to create so much tension between the boys, and sneaking a glance at them doesn’t do much to help her ascertain an explanation. 

Jimmy Jr.’s behavior make sense. He  always turns into a flustered mess when Tina gets attention from any other boy. She just doesn’t know why Zeke is being so sweet to her in the first place, and she _really_ doesn’t know why Jimmy Jr. even sees him as a threat. 

“Wow, this place is even creepier than I remembered.” Jimmy Jr. says when they approach their destination. 

Tina looks up at the Mutilation Mansion, and itseems bigger than she remembers from the previous year. She gulps. Maybe she  isn’t completely desensitized to haunted houses. 

“I’ve seen creepier.” She says with false confidence. “I mean, not in real life, but it still counts.” 

When they get closer to the mansion, Tina is consumed by an eerie feeling. Sinister music echoes from inside of the building, and she can hear other patrons screaming. She squeezes Jimmy Jr.’s hand for comfort, but he doesn’t squeeze back. 

Mutilation Mansion begins with a long, dark hallway. One of the walls reads  _ Turn Back  _ in glowing red paint, and Tina suppresses a groan. She channels her sister, reminding herself that every scary thing in the building is artificial. 

The first thing to jump out at them is a bloody surgeon, and Tina closes her eyes tightly. Next, a man wielding a chainsaw jumps out of a toy box and makes Jimmy Jr. shriek in fright. He releases Tina’s hand in the chaos, and she doesn’t take it back.

“Man, these guys sure do know how to give someone the heebie jeebies!” Zeke remarks with a nervous laugh.

When they turn the first corner, they enter a room with black walls. This time, everything is more cramped. Before Tina can think about being pressed against the two boys on either side of her, the next scare arrives. 

There’s a slamming sound, and the lights go out. All three of them gasp, and Tina feels herstomach drop. Without thinking, she grabs onto Zeke’s arm. It’s too dark for her to see anything, but she feels his body go rigid.

_Huh. My boyfriend is right next to me, but I chose to grab onto Zeke for comfort. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool._

Suddenly, the room fills with a sound other than their labored breathing. A playful melody starts to play. The kind you might hear ringing through a circus tent. Tina feels a sense of dread, and she holds Zeke’s arm even more tightly. Sensing her fear, he takes his arm from her grip and wraps it around her waist. It really is comforting. 

_ This is normal _ _._ Tina thinks.  _ Every girl her lets her boyfriend’s best friend hold onto her in a dark, scary house.  _

She’s ashamed, knowing neither of them would be doing this if Jimmy Jr. could see them, but having Zeke’s strong arm around her does make her feel more secure. If he was trying to make a move on her, that would be different, but he’s just being friendly. He puts his hands all over Jimmy Jr. all the time, and it’s not like he’s flirting with him. She buries her face in Zeke’s shoulder. 

Just as the creepy carnival music reaches a crescendo, a man in full clown make up appears. The man is holding a flashlight that illuminates them, and Zeke quickly removes his hand from Tina’s waist. 

For the remainder of the attraction, Tina can barely focus on the frightening things going on around her.Zeke’s arm felt  good around her, and she isn’t sure how to reckon with that. 

_ It’s just this house.  _ She tells herself . _It’s making_ _ me crazy.  _

Wanting to regain a sense of normalcy, she snatches Jimmy Jr.‘s hand back. When the three of them are finally back in the outside world, Zeke pumps a fist in the air. 

“Woo!” He cheers. “Take that, Stephen King! Looks like I’m not scared of clowns any more, huh, J-ju?” 

They stand in the grass for a few minutes more, the boys chatting vivaciously. They joke about their favorite parts of the haunted house, and Tina tunes them out. She recalls the sensation of Zeke’s arm pressed against her. 

He’s acting like nothing happened, so maybe she should follow his lead. He doesn’t think the gesture was anything hugely important, so neither should she. He‘s her friend, and he was only being chivalrous. It’s fine. 

Still, something is bothering her. She feels like she’s being disloyal to her boyfriend in some way. She hates keeping secrets, but she can’t let him know about she and Zeke’s passingmoment in Mutilation Mansion. As small as it was, he likely wouldn’t take it well. 

“So, what was your favorite part, T-bird?” Zekeasks her, interrupting her internal crisis. 

Tina had been so lost in her thoughts, that she’d almost forgotten she wasn’t alone. She stares dumbly at Zeke, her mouth half open, deciding what she should say. 

“I should go!” She blurts before she can think about it. “I should get home.” 

The boys glance at each other before looking back at her. Internally, Tina cringes at her tactlessness. 

“What?” Jimmy Jr. asks. “Tina, it’s like, 8:30. We were gonna stay out longer, remember?” 

“Yeah!” Zeke jumps in. “We’re gonna paint the town red, girl!”

A low level panic begins to set in. Tina wants to get out of there.

“I know!” She says, wracking her brain for an excuse. “We were, but I just remembered that my mom wants me to...

_ Clean my room? Finish my homework? Sweep the kitchen? Just say something, Tina.  _

“...organize...our...cereal boxes.” She finishes lamely. 

_ Good enough _ . She tells herself. 

“Uh...okay...” Jimmy Jr. says, curling his lip. 

“Seems a little specific, but I’m not judging!” Zeke adds. 

Tina breathes a sigh of relief. They aren’t asking any further questions, and that means they aren’t suspicious. Success. 

“Have fun with your cereal boxes, Tina!” Zeke says. 

“Thanks!” She says too loudly, already backing away from them. “Bye! Happy Halloween!”

She doesn’t kiss Jimmy Jr. goodbye, but it’s not like that matters to him anyway. She hurries down her street, weaving in and out of tiny trick or treaters and drunk adults. If she can just get home, then it’ll be like Mutilation Mansion never happened. 

She’s all the way home before she realizes she forgot to give Zeke his jacket back. When she returns it to him the following Monday, she finds she’s sad to see it go.

••••

In January, Jimmy Jr. barely makes it onto the JV basketball team. Secretly, Tina thinks there must’ve been a low turnout to tryouts. He is _not_ very good.  


Even so, he relishes in his newfound status. The basketball team wins quite a few games, and he luxuriates in success that has little to do with him. Tina attends each and every home game, and he repays her by letting cheerleaders hang all over him every chance he gets. Tina simmers, but she doesn’t think it’s significant enough to start a fight over.

She’s watching him fumble uncoordinatedly around the court one day, when she feels something bump against her shoulder. She turns around to find Zeke now occupying the seat behind her. He grins, putting a bottle of soda in her hand.

“I hope you like cola, girl!”

Tina doesn’t really care for it too much, but the gym _is_ sweltering. More importantly, Zeke went out of his way to buy it for her. She has no inkling of why. 

“Thanks.” She says politely, undoing the cap and taking a swig to show her appreciation. 

“Don’t mention it! You looked all lonely over here! I thought I’d give ya some company.” 

He pauses. 

“Well, unless you’d rather be by yourself. Should I head back over to my spot?” 

“No!” Tina says instantly. She’s almost embarrassed by how quickly the words shoot out of her mouth. 

“I mean...no, you don’t have to leave.” She corrects herself. “I was getting kind of lonely over here.”

She’s telling the truth. She’s happy to support her boyfriend, but Gene and Louise only came with her to the first game before getting bored. Today, they’re off trying to sneak into the pool at some fancy condominium, so they can “swim until their little tushes are content”. Gene’s words. 

Tina doesn’t have the same knee jerk reaction to Zeke any more. When she sees him, she’s no longer filled with blind rage or jealousy. It’s refreshing. 

Zeke parks it, and he stays there for the rest of the game. He makes quips in Tina’s ear, a few of which make her smirk, and he patiently explains the rules when something confuses her. Jimmy Jr. misses an easy shot, and Tina groans. 

“Oh, man!” Zeke says kindly, trying to disguise his disappointment. “He...almost got that!” 

Tina smiles. She’s glad that Jimmy Jr. has such a supportive friend. Zeke is _her_ friend now too, she guesses, and she likes having him in her corner. For the rest of the basketball season, she and Zeke sit together in the stands. He brings her drinks, and he makes her laugh into the palm of her hand. Every time Jimmy Jr. glances up and sees them, he scowls.

••••

Once the basketball season is over, Tina takes full advantage of her boyfriend’s free time. She drags him to the beach, and he coaxes her into watching  _ Dirty Dancing  _ with him. For the most part, all they do when they’re together is make out. It’s fun, if a little slobbery, but Tina isn’t entirely satisfied. She wants them to talk, to share their deepest secrets with each other, to really _connect_. She arranges a study date a few weeks before their final exams, hoping to stir up some meaningful conversation.

“My sister is trying to get Mr. Fischoeder to lend her a goat from the petting zoo at Wonder Wharf.” She says to break the ice.

They’re sitting on the carpeted floor of Jimmy Jr.‘s bedroom, an array of books and papers spread out before them.

“Cool, Tina.” He replies, leaning back on one hand and not looking up from his phone.

Tina wonders if he’s texting another girl, and she hates the insecurity that burns in her throat when she imagines it. 

“Aren’t you going to ask _why_ she wants a goat?” She asks, her patience wearing thin.

Jimmy Jr. sighs deeply, rolling his eyes and making a big show of his irritation. He acts like having a girlfriend is such a chore.

“Fine. Why does your sister want a goat?” He relents, finally looking up from his phone.

Tina slams her pencil down, glowering at him.

“None of your business!” She snaps. “I don’t feel like telling you anymore.”

When he only shrugs and returns to his phone, Tina is upset by his lack of reaction.

“You know,” She continues, “Zeke thought this story was really funny.”

She’d whispered it to him during World History one day, and he’d laughed loudly enough to attract the teacher’s attention. When she shot them both a warning glare, it took everything in them not to collapse into another fit of laughter. The mention of Zeke seems to gets Jimmy Jr.’s attention, and he sits up straight. At long last, he sets his phone aside.

“Since when are you and Zeke such good friends, anyway?”

Tina’s glare deepens, and she leans into him.

“I can be friends with whoever I want, Jimmy Jr.”

He laughs sharply, meanly.

“You know he likes you, right?”

Tina’s brow furrows, and she forgets what she was going to say. Her initial thought is  _ What kind of best friend spreads a secret like that around? _ , which is quickly followed by  _ Zeke likes me? How much? Since when? _

“Since when?” She asks aloud.

Jimmy Jr.’s expression is bitter, and Tina can only imagine how much this bothers him. He’s always been possessive of both she and Zeke to an extreme degree, so this combination is probably a nightmare.

“Since last year.” He explains. “It’s so  obvious , Tina. I don’t know how you haven’t noticed.”

Tina ignores the drip of condescension in his voice, focusing instead on the news that Zeke has feelings for her. She knew he’d made someoffhand comments in the past, but she always chalked those up to his constant playfulness. She didn’t think he actually  _ meant _ it, when he implied that he wanted to marry her.

“Wait.” Jimmy Jr. says when her silence lasts too long. “You don’t like  _him_ , do you?”

“ What ?”

Tina is quick to alleviate his doubts, not wanting to argue any longer. She tells him that she and Zeke spent most of their time at basketball games talking about their mutual connection to him. It’s only half true, but she doesn’t want her boyfriend thinking he has any competition. For good measure, she throws in some compliments about his appearance and his dancing. He eats it up.

They soon drop the subject of Zeke, and the evening progresses as normal. Having averted a major jealousy crisis, Tina is proud of herself. For some reason, when Jimmy Jr. kisses her goodbye, Zeke’s face pops into her head.

When Tina gets home, she rushes to her bedroom. She wants to write out her diary entry, while her memory of the evening is still fresh.

_ Today at Jimmy Jr.‘s house, he told me that Zeke  ~~ like-likes  ~~ has a crush on me. I guess that’s been going on for a long time. It’s weird, but it was kind of nice to hear. If you’re reading this twenty years from now, I guess I should remind you: Zeke has gotten pretty cute lately. _

_••••  
_

Summer vacation is weird. Jimmy Jr. and his brothers go on a trip with their mom, and Tina assumes that they’re as good as done. He tells her as much when he leaves, kissing her goodbye in the hallway outside of his bedroom.

“So...” He begins awkwardly.

Tina isn’t sure how he wants her to proceed.

“So...?” She asks.

He sighs deeply, like she’s making something impossible.

“So, you know how summer vacations are.” He says. “There’ll probably be, like, girls at this resort, and you’ll be so far away...”

Tina’s jaw clenches when she realizes what he wants. She should have known. It comes as a bit of a surprise when she realizes how little she minds. If Jimmy Jr. only wants her when it’s convenient, then that’s his problem. 

“Fine, Jimmy Jr.” She says curtly. “Have fun on your trip.”

He has the nerve to look shocked. Offended, even. He’d clearly been expecting her to feel hurt by his revelation. Maybe a part of him even  wanted her to feel that way, so he could relish in the power held over here. She doesn’t give him that satisfaction.

Regardless of the front she puts up, Tina kicks her bed post in frustration when she gets home.

_ You stupid, gorgeous idiot! _ She screams internally.  _ Can’t you see that we’re meant to be together?  _

She gives herself five minutes to agonize over Jimmy Jr. in the privacy of her room, and then she takes a deep, calming breath. It’s not like they’ve never been off before. She can handle this! In September, he’ll come crawling back to her like clockwork.

For a week, she spends her summer the same way she does every year. She wanders along the beach with Gene and Louise, completes her menial tasks at the restaurant, and falls asleep during an action movie marathon that her dad and sister wrangle her into watching. Then, out of the blue, Zeke calls her with an idea.

Zeke was held back a grade in elementary school, so he got his license early. Tina feels so grown-up when he invites her to go for a ride, and she asks her parents if she can skip out on the restaurant for an afternoon.

The humidity is stifling, and the polyester seats in his pick up truck stick to the sweat on her thighs. She loves it. She feels like a real high schooler, alone in a car with a boy. 

Soon, afternoon rides with Zeke become a regular occurrence. He swings by the restaurant just after lunch, when he knows there’s a lull in customers. Tina knows that her entire family thinks they go make out or something, but they don’t. Zeke shows her an empty lot he found, and he starts taking her their all all the time, just to hang out. 

It’s fun. Tina usually brings him a burger of the day, and sometimes he brings her treats he made at home. Her favorite is a fresh croissant. It’s crispy and perfectly flaky, and Zeke tells her the batch took several hours to make. He’s genuinely talented, and Tina likes that he wants to share things with her.

After they have their snacks, Zeke likes to do a few donuts in the large expanse of pavement. He whoops and hollers, and Tina likes it, too. It’s sort of like the Scream-i-cane at the Wharf but more special. It’s something that’s just for the two of them.

Their summer afternoons feel like little adventures, but they’re nothing like the kind Tina goes on with her brother and sister. These are more impulsive. Louise’s plans are always laid out so precisely, but Zeke just goes with the flow.

He opens up to her, and she learns about all of the dishes he likes to cook. He tells her he thinks it’d be cool to be a chef one day, and she zealously encourages him. He asks about  her , too, and that’s a nice change of pace from dating Jimmy Jr.

“So, Chariot’s your favorite?” He asks one day, after Tina has finished recounting the many details of  _ The Equestrenauts’  _ extended universe.

“Definitely.” She says matter of factly. “Chariot is the best. She’s smart and noble, and she always does the right thing.”

She rolls her eyes in disgust.

“Even when Headhorn is trying to screw her over. Headhorn’s character has  _ really _ gone down since season six.”

Zeke chuckles at her tangent, but Tina doesn’t sweat it. He wouldn’t laugh _at_ her. He doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body.

“Smart and noble, huh?” He asks. “Kinda like you, Tina!”

Tina plays it cool, but that might be the best compliment she’s ever gotten in her life. Zeke is so good at knowing what to say, and, after that, a switch flips. Tina starts to pick up on things about him that she’s never noticed before. Things she never  _ would’ve _ noticed back in middle school, when she only saw him as a loud, gross annoyance.

The first thing that hits her is his smell. It’s not cologne, or at least not any kind Tina’s ever smelled. It’s woodsy, almost. She loves it. It feels manly. She wants to inhale it so deeply into her lungs that it sticks there.

Once she notices one thing about Zeke, a million new observations follow. His slightly crooked teeth are nice. Everything he says is incredibly charming. She’s always been a sucker for accents, and his gets better and better the more she listens to it. In her diary, she writes:

_ Zeke’s voice is like honey. It’s  ~~ sticky ~~ . Wait, no. It’s warm. I don’t know. There’s a good simile in there somewhere. It’s hard to describe, but I like listening to Zeke talk. Weird, I know. It’s like, when did that happen? I guess high school changes people. _

She rereads that paragraph, chewing on the end of her pen, and decides that some clarification is in order.

_ It’s not like I have  feelings _ _for Zeke_.  She adds.  _ Just because I think a boy is handsome, and sweet, and I have fun with him, doesn’t mean I like him. I still miss Jimmy Jr. He was kind of a jerk before he left on his vacation, but I’m sure things will be fine again when he gets back. You know how things are with us, diary. _

Tina is fully prepared for she and Jimmy Jr. to get back together come the new school year, knowing the tendency they have to gravitate back to each other. Maybe it is a little odd to be hanging out with his best friend in the meantime, but _he’s_ the one who wanted to spend his summer with a bunch of hot, Costa Rican babes. Besides, Tina really is enjoying her newfound friendship with Zeke.

“Here ya go.” Zeke says one afternoon, as they’re pulling into their favorite empty parking lot.

They’ve been driving aimlessly for an hour, just talking and pointing out weird things they see on the side of the road. It’s hot outside, oppressively so, and Tina is starting to feel weird. Her stomach is bothering her, and she really wishes the AC in Zeke’s truck wasn’t broken.

She’s surprised to see that he’s handing her a bottle of water. He must’ve pulled it from the glove compartment when she wasn’t looking, because it’s been produced seemingly out of nowhere. She gives him a questioning look.

“Drink up, girl.” Zeke tells her. “It’s as hot as a chili pepper out here!” 

Tina obliges. She takes a sip, and she’s immediately glad that he offered it to her. She realizes how thirsty she’d felt as the cold water hits her tongue. All at once, she feels exhausted. She drinks, and she keeps drinking. Before she knows it, a third of the bottle is gone.

“Damn!” Zeke comments. “You feelin’ alright, T-bird? You sure can down a drink!”

Tina opens her mouth to say yes, but suddenly she isn’t sure if that’s the right answer. Her head is aching. When did that start? She thinks the dull throbbing has been there for a little while, but the sharp pain is new.

“Son of a bitch!” She cries. “Sorry. Not you.”

Zeke regards her cautiously, then puts the truck in drive. 

“I think you might be a little dehydrated.” He says worriedly. “I better get ya home. Is that alright with you?”

Tina nods. It’s very alright with her. She really wants to lie down. She’s grateful when Zeke drives much more slowly than he usually does, afraid she might throw up all over his dashboard. Along the way, she finishes the rest of her bottle. 

They park a block away from the restaurant when they arrive on Ocean Avenue, and Zeke turns to face her. Tina thinks her face must be pale, because he furrows his brow and takes out another water bottle from his glove compartment. Relief dawns on Tina’s face when she sees it, and Zeke unscrews the cap.

He brings the bottle to her lips, holding it for her as she drinks. It isn’t necessary. She can certainly hold her own water bottle, even if her body feels like its just completed a marathon. Knowing this, though, she doesn’t take the bottle from her hands.

Somehow, the lack of urgency makes the moment more tender. He’s helping her because he wants to. Because he knows her hands are tired, even if they still work perfectly fine.

For a moment, a memory crosses Tina’s mind. Her mom and dad on the bathroom floor. She’s always wanted someone to care about her this way. To offer her an act of service.

She can’t pretend she isn’t loving this. She _lives_ for this kind of thing. She feels like the star of a romantic drama.

_ What? Romantic? Stop it, Tina. Zeke is your friend. _

Zeke looks so absorbed with his task, like making sure Tina drinks this water is the most important thing he’ll ever do. It becomes obvious that neither of them are going to acknowledge the bizarre intimacy of the whole thing. It only lasts for a few seconds, but Tina feels rejuvenated when he pulls away.

“Um.” She says profoundly. “Thanks.”

She’s pretty sure Zeke is blushing, but it could just be the heat. Or maybe her exhaustion is really getting to her, and she’s starting to hallucinate.

“Uh.” Zeke says. “Don’t mention it.”

Now that their little moment has passed, it feels impossible to reflect on it without feeling embarrassed. It was nice, and Tina doesn’t regret it, but it was weird. She isn’t sure how to move forward.

“Let me getcha inside, girl.” Zeke says, disrupting the tension. 

He walks her back home, looking at her like he’s afraid she’s going to keel over at any moment. Tina leans into him a little more than she really needs to, liking how comfortable his strong arm feels wrapped around her waist. It reminds her of the moment they shared way back in October, in Mutilation Mansion.

“Tina!” Her mom gasps when Zeke guides her into the restaurant. “Are you okay, my baby?”

She rushes out from the behind the counter, throwing her hands on Tina’s shoulders and inadvertently pushing Zeke out of the way.

“I’m fine, Mom.” Tina reassures her.

She’s grateful to have a family who cares so much, but her mom tends to go overboard when she’s worried about one of her kids. It’s embarrassing, having her mom baby her in front of Zeke and the few patrons eating at the restaurant.

“What did you do to my sister, Zeke?” Louise demands with an accusatory stare, hopping off of the stool she had been spinning on.

“Nothing, Louise.” Tina answers quickly. “I’m just dehydrated.

“I got some water into her, Mrs. B.” Zeke says with a nervous scratch to the back of his head.

Having heard all the commotion, her dad sticks his head out from the kitchen window.

“Tina?” He says, a note of concern in his voice. “Are you okay?”

“She looks like a ghost!” Gene explains unhelpfully. “A really sick ghost!”

“I’m fine, dad.”

Tina lets her mom worry over her for a few more minutes, as Zeke watches from the sidelines, chewing on his bottom lip. Her mom strokes her hair and kisses her forehand, and her dad brings her out a glass of water.

“You need to rest, Tina.” He says. “Go upstairs, and your mom and I will come check on you in a while.”

“ _ What _ ?” Louise shrieks.

Tina hugs her mom goodbye, and Zeke escorts her up the stairs. She’s wary of the fact that he’s inside of her house, which he hasn’t been since middle school. He follows behind her when she goes into her room, hovering above her even when she climbs under her covers and lies down.

“You really scared me back there.” He admits. “I thought I was gonna have to drive ya to the hospital or somethin’.”

Tina shakes her head. The genuine worry on his face is sweet, and it makes her feel lucky to be his friend. She also feels like an idiot for spending most of middle school resenting him, when they could have been having these adventures the whole time.

“Sorry for scaring you.” She says sincerely. “Thanks for everything.”

Instead of answering, he bows his head slightly. Before she can guess what he’s doing, she feels his lips touch her forehead. Tina freezes, waiting for her heart to hammer against her chest or stop completely. Instead, she feels even more exhausted than she did before. She sinks deeper into her bed which is suddenly the most comfortable thing in the world. It takes a second for her to recognize the feeling Zeke is bringing her, but it soon becomes crystal clear.

Safety. She just feels safe. It’s so refreshing, having someone give her attention without having to fight for it. Zeke takes care of her, and he’s really good at it. In a way, he’s probably more careful with her than he is with most things in his life.

“You’re a great friend, Zeke.” She says quietly. 

His face falls, and Tina immediately wants to take her words back.

_What are you, a freaking monster? Jimmy Jr. told you he likes you! Think before you speak, Tina!_ She scolds herself.

“ I try my best, T.” Zeke smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

Seeing his face shatters Tina’s heart. She wants to reach out and hug him but fears that would only make everything more awkward. In the back of her mind, she’d assumed Zeke’s crush had faded as they became closer. The dejection on his face proves her wrong.

“Zeke, I—“ She begins, trying to salvage the situation, but he cuts her off.

“I gotcha, girl!” He says understandingly. “I love being your friend!”

_ Ugh _ . It would almost be better if he got mad at her. His upbeat kindheartedness is  torture .

“I think I better get goin’, unless you need anything else.” He announces before she can respond.

Tina wants him to stay, but she can’t think of a good enough excuse to keep him there. She thanks him again, bites back an apology, and says goodbye. 

_I hate seeing him sad_.  Tina thinks once he’s gone. _ I just want to kiss his face, until he feels better.  _

That image sends her thoughts to a screeching halt.  _ What? No, that can’t be right. Must be the dehydration talking.  _ She brushes the mental picture off as a fluke, closes her eyes, and lets exhaustion overtake her. 

After the awkward moment in her bedroom, she doesn’t see Zeke for a few days. Just when she begins to fear that she’s alienated him completely, he calls again. They go on one of their drives, and everything feels good. Her diary reads: 

_ Zeke is talking to me again, thank God. I’ve really missed him the last few days. It’s actually been kind of nice not having to think about impressing Jimmy Jr. all the time. _ She writes in her diary _.  Wait, is it weird that I missed Zeke more than I miss Jimmy Jr.? _

Unfortunately, Tina’s reprieve doesn’t last for long.

Jimmy Jr. is back in town about a week before school starts, and Tina’s heart sinks the first time she sees him. He’s across the street at Jimmy Pesto’s Pizzeria looking as handsome as ever and, without warning, a flood of butterflies rushes into her stomach. 

“Uhhh...” Tina groans, resting her forehead against the glass.

She wanted those feelings to be over with. She thought they were! It just wasn’t as simple as that.

Louise joins her on the right, peering out the window.

“Wow,” She says, as they watch Jimmy Jr. bus a table, “looks like  The Dumb and The Restless just got renewed for another season.”

Tina only groans again, sulking her way through the rest of her shift and watching the front door of Jimmy Pesto’s out of the corner of her eye. Every time Jimmy Jr. come outside to clean up a table, she can’t stop herself from gazing at him.

The next day, Tammy hosts a party. For most of the people in their grade, it’s their first  high school party. When Tina gets a last minute invite, she agonizes over whether or not Jimmy Jr. will be there. 

She spends the afternoon painstakingly shaving each hair from her legs, and she pulls on a cotton, baby blue sun dress. She smooths it out, fighting back a wave of nausea.

_ Why did Jimmy Jr. have to come back so soon?  She thinks.  Couldn’t he have spent a year in Costa Rica? That’s fun, right? _

Something churns inside her on the walk to the party. A heavy sickness. It’s been so long since she’s seen Jimmy Jr., and she hates that their reunion will happen when Zeke is around. She hopes he doesn’t feel like she’s rubbing anything in his face.

It’s pitch black outside by the time Tina’s walk is completed. Standing outside Tammy’s house, she braces herself to go inside. She can hear the partygoers in the backyard, and music is blaring throughout the house. She approaches the front door to ring the bell. When the sound of the music inside drowns out the ringing, she frowns.

_ Stop it, Tina. Screw politeness! This is your first high school party. Just open the damn door! _

Somewhat reluctantly, she takes her own advice and charges into the building. She surveys the crowd and spots the hostess, sitting on the arm of a chair.

“Oh, good!” Tammy drawls sarcastically. “This party was going a little  too well. We needed you here to nerd the place up, Tina!”

The roaring music aside, this party is nothing like the parties Tina has seen in movies, or the one she’d crashed on a wild chinchilla hunt. People are mostly standing around looking awkward, unsure of what to do with their hands. Tina sees someone showing off their juggling skills in the corner, and she gives Tammy her best attempt at a mocking smile.

“Oh, you think the party’s going well, Tammy?” She retorts as she walks further into the party, leaving a sputtering Tammy in her wake.

The mini confrontation gives Tina the jolt of confidence she needed, and she straightens her back as she ventures into the backyard. The first thing she notices is a massive trampoline where a few of her classmates are bouncing. The second thing she notices is that Zeke  is there, and he has Jimmy Jr. in a headlock.

“Say uncle!” Zeke shouts good-naturedly, laughing.

Tina approaches them just as Jimmy Jr. obliges, gasping for air when Zeke lets him up. 

“Uh...hey, you two.” She says awkwardly, adjusting her glasses.

Zeke brightens when he sees her, but Jimmy Jr. is too busy fixing his mussed hair to even spare a glance in her direction.

“There’s my Tina girl!” Zeke says excitedly,

“Yeah.” She says, watching Jimmy Jr. to see his reaction to the nickname. “Here I am.”

Unsurprisingly, Jimmy Jr. makes a sour face when he hears Zeke’s affectionate greeting. Even though she and Jimmy Jr. are decidedly off, Tina’s whole summer suddenly feels like a dirty secret. The drives, the water bottle, the  kiss on the forehead.  She feels her cheeks heat up.

Her throat is unbearably dry, and she stares down at the grass. It’s easier to think about Tammy’s parents’ perfect lawn than to face the boys in front of her.  


Jimmy Jr. is...Jimmy Jr. He’s  so cute, and she’s wanted him forever. It was easier to ignore that when he was gone, but now...it’s like everything is rushing back to her all at once.

Zeke is...yeah, he’s fun. He’s sweet. She has a good time with him, and he makes her feel pretty and courageous. But...he’s just a friend, right? She told him that herself. She’s dreamt about marrying Jimmy Jr. since she was eight. Why should her friendship with Zeke complicate that?

“Hey, Tina.” Jimmy Jr. says, sounding bored. “Cool dress.”

Tina looks down at her outfit, pleased that her dress was a good choice. She gives Jimmy Jr. a half smirk, and Zeke’s eyes dart around nervously.

“I, uh, guess I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone!” He declares, and Tina cringes.

His jaw is sunk, facing the ground, and she knows he feels left out. She’s been there, on the other side of that feeling. It’s terrible, and she feels like a terrible friend. She watches him walk away.

“I heard you guys have been spending a lot of time together.” She hears Jimmy Jr. say from behind her.

Tina whips her head back around to face him.

“Uh...yeah. We’re friends.”

Jimmy Jr. doesn’t look as perturbed by this as she expected him to. His face is unreadable as he inches slightly closer to her.

“You wanna hear about my trip?” He offers.

She nods. The two of them remain in the same spot for nearly thirty minutes, as Jimmy Jr. tells her all about his vacation. He says he learned to surf, but Tina thinks his retelling might be inflating the true extent of his athleticism. She notices he doesn’t make any mention of girls, but whether that’s to spare her feelings or because there’s nothing to tell is anyone’s guess.

Throughout his rambling, Tina smiles and nods at all of the right beats. She prides herself on being a good listener, but she can’t deny how dull his storytelling is. Unlike Zeke, his voice doesn’t crescendo when he gets to the interesting parts. When his story is concluded, he doesn’t bother asking any questions about Tina’s summer.

She doesn’t remember when he kisses her, but he does. One of Tammy’s neighbors starts setting off leftover Fourth of July fireworks, and Tina imagines herself as a character in a movie. When he accidentally bites down too hard on her lip, she just deals with it.

“I’m glad you came tonight, Tina.” He murmurs when they pull apart.

He kisses her again, then he gives her some excuse for why he needs to go talk to some friends of his. It’s a see-through disguise for ditching her, but she lets it go. As he disappears to look for his friends, she sees that mosquitos have attacked her bare legs.

“Damn it.” She mutters.

“You need to get some ointment on those, T!” She hears a familiar voice say.

She isn’t sure where Zeke came from, but she’s happy to have someone to talk to. She speculates about whether or not he saw she and Jimmy Jr. kissing in the shadows.

“So...looks like you two are back together!” He comments, answering her question.

“I don’t know.” She admits. “Sorry, if you had to see all of that.”

Hoping he can make out her expression in the dark, she gives him an apologetic smile. He just shakes his head as though trying to assuage her guilt.

”’s okay, girl!”   
  
Tina isn’t buying this unbothered act. She saw his face when she called them friends. She thinks his feelings run deeper than he’s letting on.   
  


“I really am sorry.” She tries again. “I know—“

Zeke cuts off her. Evidently, he _really_ doesn’t want to talk about the unspoken, secret subject of this conversation. Does he not realize that she knows? 

“Listen, T-bird.” He soothes. “I’m not trying to step on any toes here!”

Tina raises her eyebrows.

“You two are my buddies!” He says. “It’s great that you like kissin’ each other!”

Tina recoils. _Buddies_? Why does that word sound so awful  in his mouth?

“Zeke, I—“

“I just want you to be happy, Tina!” He resumes, his mouth forming a soft smile. “Alright? 

Tina manages a small nod. Even though he sounds like he means it, something still feels feel wrong. 

“Um...alright.” She says quietly, subdued, dumbfounded by how this conversation has unfolded. 

Zeke grins with satisfaction, gives her shoulder a hearty squeeze, and turns to walk away. Tina opens her mouth and closes it again. An explosion of red and blue goes off far above her head, and Tina watches Zeke’s retreating figure for the second time that night. Although she wants to call after him, she has no idea what to say.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> let me know your thoughts about this!


End file.
